Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
