Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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