fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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