yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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