so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
