I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
