just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
