Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
