it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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