You really coming over, don't trick.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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