Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
