from now on my penis is your penis
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
