i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
