I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
