I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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