He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
