You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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