i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
