I look better un-naked...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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