I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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