she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
