I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
