Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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