He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
