There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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