sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
