Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
