There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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