Got a toothbrush?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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