So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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