Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
