We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
