If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
