At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
