I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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