i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
