I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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