Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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