Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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