only you would photoshop your dick
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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