you guys were way drunker than both of me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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