5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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