This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
