Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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