your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
