Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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