Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
