Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
