dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
