Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
