Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
don't judge my taste in strippers
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
