i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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