My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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